Your Tribe

Your Tribe 

Welcome back to Differentiators, your weekly dose of inspiration that helps you get out of that dreaded mid-week slump. 

Over the past two weeks, we have been building the foundation for Differentiators. By defining our definition of Differentiators we will be able to start building the skills, habits, and mental frameworks to be truly set apart. 

A differentiator is someone who is intentionally set apart for the betterment of themselves and their tribe.

Over the past two weeks, we have defined the power of intentionality. We said that intentionality in your habits enforces positive and productive behavior. It takes intentionality to wake up at 5:30 am to work out. While watching 6 hours of Netflix takes no intentionality. That is why we feel great after a workout and terrible after a 6-hour binge session. 

Last week we covered the importance of our habits with our quote from Aristotle, “We are what we repeatedly do.”  Therefore we need to do the activities that properly love us back. Check out last week's newsletter here. 

The last part of our definition we have yet to define is… 

Our Tribe

This week I want to talk to “your why'“ and tie it into your Tribe towards the end. I believe that everyone has a why but the majority of people are not able to articulate it. We like to say the depth of your why correlates to the height of your success. That does not mean you will be able to achieve everything your hands touch if you have a strong why but having a strong why behind your habits gives you a fighting chance to be seriously set apart. 

Another way of defining our why is by explaining exactly what motivates you to do the activities you do. We have observed that people are motivated either internally or externally. Let's break down what this means. 

Internal or External Motivation 

By seeing which type of motivation is more effective in your life you will be able to strengthen your why, allowing you to achieve things you couldn’t imagine. This mental framework paved the way for me to complete 75 Hard, read 32 books last year, and land my job last year with a company that has a lower acceptance rate than Harvard, Yale, and Stanford combined. This mental framework gives you the power to accomplish your goals by tapping into the deepest part of your motivation. 

One of our favorite ways to test whether you are internally or externally motivated is by taking a look at the reasons you want to win. For example, in a pickup basketball game (or any 1on1 type of game) why do you want to win? Do you want to win to prove to yourself that you are better than your competitor or do you want to win to prove to your competitor that you are better than them? By answering this question honestly you will be able to find your type of motivation. 

If you said you said you want to win to prove to yourself then you lean towards internal motivation while if you said you want to win to prove to your competitor then you lean towards external motivation. 

How To Use The Types of Motivation

Understanding which type of motivation you lean towards is just the first piece of the puzzle. To leverage this framework we have to put it to use. But before we do that I want to highlight that everyone uses both types of motivation. Once you start putting this framework into use you will find examples in your life where you are internally motivated and where you are externally motivated. More importantly, you will start seeing that the areas you are struggling with typically have the wrong type of motivation behind them. 

If we are being honest, people who naturally lean toward internal motivation have it easier than people who lean toward external motivation. Internal motivation says, “I have to do this because this is the right thing to do.” They often have a louder and stronger angel on their shoulder compared to the demon. Intrinsically their willpower and sheer perseverance can take them places that few people ever get to. A truly internally motivated person is rare but if you meet one you will know very quickly. 

On the more common side, we have our externally motivated folks, myself included. The majority of people I talk to tend to lean this way and therefore they need to put up proper (external) guardrails to accomplish what they desire. In most cases, due to the high sense of self-worth and frankly pride in externally motivated people we think we are more capable than we really are. This imposter syndrome has its pros and cons and by leveraging our tendency towards external motivation we can mitigate the cons by including people in the process of our goals. For example, as I lean towards being externally motivated I knew that I would not be able to complete 75 Hard by myself. Therefore I decided to post a story on Instagram after every single workout for my close friends to see. This external guardrail tapped into my deepest motivation (people thinking I couldn't do it) and allowed me to achieve this feat. 

It does not matter which type of motivation you lean toward, we believe that both internal and external motivation play a key part in you becoming a Differentiator but above both types of motivation we have observed that Your Tribe is one of the biggest motivating factors out there. 

Your Tribe 

Your Tribe is the people who are in your corner, the people standing beside you on your wedding day, the friends that will storm the gates of hell with a water gun with you. These are the family members or friends who love you with the type of love we talked about last week. These are the people that need to come to our minds when inspiration is low. If we are struggling to move forward in our discipline for ourselves what if you started doing it for your Tribe? What if we started focusing on strengthening ourselves for when we are needed by our tribe? Allow the thought of your Tribe to fuel your motivation. If we can’t improve ourselves for ourselves let’s improve ourselves for the people we will impact. Our Tribe. 

Practicals

The Problem: What time of motivation do you lean towards? 

The Motivation: What is the point of improving ourselves daily? Why are we even doing this?

The Game Plan: Implement the proper guardrails to help you find and achieve what you have set out to accomplish. If you are not able to do it for yourself write down the people you are doing it for. 

As always, I am honored to be on this journey together. If you found any of the past few newsletter content helpful, please share this with your Tribe. Next week we will discuss how important Language is and the power of speaking the same language inside your tribe. 

Go out. Make a difference.