Being Set Apart

Differentiators

Welcome back to Differentiators, where we help you find ways to intentionally set yourself apart for the betterment of yourself and your tribe. 

This week we are continuing to break down what it means to be a Differentiator. As we jump in this week I first want to say thank you. In this day of age, you have a million different pieces of good and bad content screaming for your attention. Thank you for spending your most valuable resource with me every week. I work my hardest to steward your time well and leave you with more value than you had when you opened this email. With that being said let’s dive in. 

As we build from last week’s newsletter (Click here if you missed it) on defining what it means to be intentional we will now focus our attention on the middle half of our definition of a Differentiator: 

Being Set Apart

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit” - Aristotle 

I have good news for you: being set apart is not only about your natural raw talent but we will talk about your talents and giftings later on because that does play a key part in becoming a Differentiation. We will instead focus on what we can personally control. And that is our actions. 

To be individually set apart, your habits must first be set apart. If you want to tap into your infinite amount of potential you cannot do what everyone else is doing. We know that because the majority of people in this world are currently wasting their lives away. Netflix has approximately 200 million hours of content watched every day and YouTube has a staggering 1 billion hours of content watched every day. Compare this to 42% of college graduates who never read another book after graduation (per Abtaba) and a popular statistic that estimates the average CEO reads 50+ books a year. And it is highly unlikely that CEOs started reading that much directly after they received the title of CEO. They established the habit of gaining inexpensive experience through reading and received the most differentiated title in a company. 

Your habits work as the map on this path of setting yourself apart, this journey of becoming a differentiator. 

Is your map leading you into the vast majority of people in this world wasting their lives away or is your map hell-bent on setting yourself up to be different, to be better? 

Being Set Apart For The Betterment Of Yourself

As I have been fighting this fight of establishing my habits and creating my map to become a Differentiator over the years I learned this simple mental framework (not a rule for life) that has helped me to stand against mediocrity and fight for discipline. I tell myself to love things that properly love you back.

Let me be clear on what type of love I am talking about here. I am talking about the love that has a little bit of a bite to it. The love that quietly tells your friend they have something in their teeth. The love that is able to graciously tell your roommate that they are messy or that they have a habit of interrupting the person talking. This type of love is different than what we are used to. It stings in the moment but when it comes from a good place it brings forth growth and improvement.

The ancient proverbs say “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.”

This is the type of love I am talking about. Engaging with someone or something that loves you enough to cut off (wound) the very thing hindering you from reaching your potential in order for you to grow is incredibly challenging but extremely worth it. 

The best way to find out if something properly loves you back is by gauging the impact of it afterward. For example, overindulgence of alcohol harms the quality of my life the next day. Therefore, alcohol does not properly love me back. The very same thing, except with a more immediate impact, with overeating, drugs, pornography, and watching countless hours of Netflix and YouTube. I am sure you are able to think of a dozen other activities that do not love you back properly too. 

Finding the activities that love you back is a critical part of writing out your map to becoming a Differentiator but to be honest, the habits that love you back are much harder to establish. It is easy to get drunk every weekend, waste the day watching Netflix, or sleep through your alarm clock. Those are the habits of the world and require nothing from you. The habits that love you back require something from you. That is why the majority of the world wants nothing to do with them. Working out, reading, budgeting, eating healthy, and creating deep relationships are all habits that love you back properly yet very few people continuously do them.

We are what we do repeatedly therefore do the things that love back properly. 

If the first part of Aristotle’s quote is true then who do your habits say you are?

Practicals 

The Problem: Take an inventory of your habits to see who you are becoming

The Motivation: Is this the person you want to become? Why or why not? 

The Game Plan: What small change can you implement right now to focus on building habits that love you back?

I am honored to be on this journey of becoming a Differentiator with you.

Go out. Make a Difference.